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Gain Confidence and Boost Self Esteem in 5 Simple Steps

We all want to become more confident and feel good about ourselves so we can live our very best life. Here are some ways to gain confidence and raise self-esteem:

1. Do something that requires a decision and a follow-through.

Have you been putting off writing that letter to aunt Martha? Is there a friend youve been meaning to call? Wash the car, tidy the garden or clean the house. Youll gain confidence by setting goals (even small ones) and following through on them.

2. Enjoy something you do well.

Do you have any hobbies or sports that you enjoy playing? Some things like going swimming, painting or writing can hold your attention and get you into a state of flow. While you are in the flow you forget about everything else.

Afterwards, youll feel competent and capable. Its a great way to boost your self-esteem. If you dont have any particular hobbies or pastimes that you enjoy make an effort to try something youve always wanted to try.

Picture yourself doing it, and then give it a try! It doesnt have to be something big - it can be as simple as joining a walking club.

Youll find that you are more centered and happier if you do something that puts you in that flow at least once a week.

3. Shift the focus.

Its been shown that low self-esteem develops hand-in-hand with individuals who put too much focus on themselves. You can gain confidence by doing something that focuses on someone else or even something else.

Youll find that when you are in a situation where you are meeting new people, you immediately become less nervous when you focus on the person you are meeting.

At the end of the day, youve interacted with others and will notice that you feel much lighter.

4. Relax, already!

Learning to become more relaxed is a great life enhancer. People who are more relaxed have fewer problems with their memories and are more likely to take the bumps in the road of life in stride.

The practice of meditation has gained popularity for this reason. You might want to look into Tai Chi, which involves physical relaxation techniques.

Whatever method you decide on, take relaxation seriously. The benefits are just too great to ignore. If youve never considered relaxation important, think of it this way: if you can attend to something that results in feeling good, how can you not gain confidence in your personal abilities?

5. Make a list of everything youve ever accomplished.

Think small. An accomplishment is an accomplishment! Some things you could put on your list: passed my drivers test and got my license, scored a goal when I played hockey, managed to save enough money to go on a trip and so on.

These are just a few ideas you can use to gain confidence and boost your self-esteem. Use these ideas as a base point and add these things permanently in your life.

Keep in mind, people are not born with good self-esteem, most of us have to work at it. It develops from your thinking and the things you do daily to make yourself feel good.

posted by msubmn @ 9:15 PM 0 comments

The Dreaded "E" Word: Understand the Eviction Process and be Prepared to take Appropriate Action

There's a subject in real estate circles that no one really likes to talk about or hear about. The dreaded "E" word is eviction. It's not pleasant, but it's a fact of life for a landlord. And it doesn't happen often, but if you are a serious investor, there will likely come a time when you will be confronted with this unfortunate situation, no matter how good your tenant screening or management system is.

Jeffrey Taylor, author of The Landlord's Kit (and no relation to Jordan Taylor), says you should never feel guilty about evictions. He points out that you're not making a profit with an eviction; you're simply cutting your losses. Also, he says, nonpaying tenants are taking money that provides for your family needs; they're stealing from you.

Real estate investment expert Russ Whitney agrees. "Owning income-producing real estate and being a landlord is a business, and you should take a business approach to tenants who don't pay or commit serious violations of your rules," says Whitney, author of The Millionaire Real Estate Mindset. "Enforce the terms of your lease and do it consistently and immediately."

The first step in avoiding evictions is careful tenant selection. The process should include credit references, credit reports, employment verifications, talking to your prospective tenants' previous landlords, etc. Russ Whitney recommends that you not rent to someone who has a poor track record with finances and previous housing. If they've been evicted before, chances are it will happen again.

You can never gather too much data on a prospective tenant. But no matter how much checking and verifying you do, and no matter how perfect that tenant seems when the lease is signed, circumstances can change--and often that change occurs quickly.

Certainly it's understandable that people experience hard times, and you want to be understanding. However, as Russ Whitney says, you are in business, and your expenses continue whether your tenants pay their rent or not.

If a tenant is not paying rent and all your efforts to work with him or her fail, start eviction proceedings immediately. You must show that you are in charge and that you will not tolerate non-payment of rent. Also, if you are evicting for another reason--for various lease violations, for example--you should begin the eviction process as soon as you have issued all the appropriate warnings to cease the objectionable conduct.

Follow the terms of your lease. On the day the rent is deemed late, issue a notice to pay rent or quit. If the tenant isn't out within the prescribed period, you can have the sheriff evict them (in accordance with the specific laws of your state). Unless your tenant is a total deadbeat and used to this kind of treatment, this threat will usually have the desired effect of either getting the rent paid or the tenant out.

When the eviction process is underway, remind the tenant that his credit rating will suffer if the late payments and eviction are reported to the credit bureau, and that you will do that. If you belong to your local Apartment Owner's Association, warn the tenant that you will report him to the Association and that will make it more difficult for him to rent in the area. Also, if you must complete the eviction, they will never again be able to honestly answer "no" when a rental application asks if they've ever been evicted.

An effective strategy to avoid eviction is to "buy" the tenant out. In other words, offer to pay him cash to move out. More often than not, this will be less expensive and less time-consuming than going through a nasty court eviction. But do not give him any money until he and his entire family have vacated the premises.

Finally, a word of caution: learn the methods of dealing with non-paying tenants recommended by your local Apartment Owner's Association, and also the laws pertaining to eviction in your area so you don't do something that will come back to haunt you later.

posted by msubmn @ 4:27 PM 0 comments

Condo Hotels - What are Condo Hotels?

The latest trend in vacation homes is the condo hotel. Marketed as a condominium located in a resort hotel, these private residences offer a practical way to own a vacation home, and offset some of the costs when youre not there.

Condo Hotels first started appearing in places like Miami Beach and Ft. Lauderdale. They have increased tremendously in popularity and can now be found in places like Belize and Dubai.

Most condo hotel properties are owned by names you would recognize. Companies like Hilton, Starwood, Ritz-Carlton, Bulgari, and Trump see the condo hotel trend as a solid business venture. With names like that, if you choose to invest a condo hotel, youll know youre dealing with well-respected, successful businesses. And when you purchase a condominium in a condo hotel, youre not just buying vacation property, youre investing in the hotel business.

Heres how Condo Hotels works:

You purchase a condominium (prices range from as low as $400,000 to well over $2 million) thats located in a resort hotel. You let the hotel know when you intend to stay in your condo and they reserve the dates for you. The remainder of the time, your condo goes into a rental program, managed by the hotel, and is rented out as a hotel room.

The benefit of this type of arrangement is that you get a luxury condominium in a luxury resort, but dont have to worry about maintenance and upkeep when youre not there. In addition, because the hotel will rent out your condo, your vacation home becomes an investment property. Because hotel management handles marketing and promotion, you dont have to, and you get the added benefit of having your condo marketed as part of a well-known and respected luxury hotel. Imagine the marketing power behind names such as Ritz-Carlton and Trump! Having your vacation condo promoted under a name like that gives you unparalleled exposure.

In addition, property values for this type of investment having been steadily rising due to supply and demand. Especially for those who buy a condo during either the pre-construction or construction phase. Some have been known to increase in value by as much as 16% in the first year.

Keep in mind, theres no guarantee how often or for how long your condo will be rented while youre gone. Ideally, you could offset the costs of everything including the mortgage, but be prepared for times when that doesnt happen. Remember that this is primarily a vacation home and potential long-term investment, not a short-term, quick money maker.

Another benefit of investing in a condo hotel, rather than simply purchasing a vacation home, is that when you stay in your condo, you get all the amenities of a four or five star hotel! Most condo hotels, because they are built and marketed as resorts, have fitness rooms, spas, fine dining restaurants, and pools. Some will even have valet and concierge services, complimentary continental breakfasts, boutiques, and many will be oceanfront properties.

How is a Condo Hotel this different from a time-share?

When you purchase a time-share, youre not purchasing the property, just time at the property. You have to use the property and its facilities during the same time every year, unless youre able to trade with someone else. This can cause challenges when trying to plan a family vacation. Theres no guarantee that youll have the same two weeks free next year that you have this year. And what if you want to go more than once year? Then you have to buy several blocks of time.

In some instances, a time-share gives you a specific week or two, but allows you to choose between several properties. Youre still limited by the dates you purchased, and may not be able to find a desirable location that has your specific dates available.

With a hotel condominium, you own the condo, which means that its yours to use as often as youd like. No trading dates, or locations. You come and go as you please. While you do need to give the hotel advance notice so they wont rent your condo on the week youre planning to be there, as the owner, you get first pick. In addition, hotel condominiums are in such demand that theyre far easier to sell than a time-share.

Overall, if youre looking for a second or vacation home, a condo hotel is well worth looking into. Not only does it give you the chance to enjoy vacationing at a luxury resort, but youve got a full-time management staff that will look after things when youre not there. Because most condo hotels are luxury hotels, you get outstanding amenities and spectacular views. Add to that the fact that you can generate a little money by putting your condo in the rental program, and youve got a pretty good deal.

As with any major purchase, its wise to do some research before making any final decisions. Weigh the pros and cons carefully and be sure youre not purchasing the condo with grandiose ideas of making money hand-over-fist. Yes, it is potentially a good investment, as is most real estate, but be sure your expectations are realistic.

posted by msubmn @ 2:05 PM 0 comments

Managing Your Phobias and Fears While In A Relationship

How can you manage your phobias and other related fears while being in a relationship? It can be tough to be in a relationship and have to deal with your fears and other phobias.

One of the ways to manage your particular phobia is to find out what exactly is your fear. If you have trouble finding out what that fear may be, then try to talk to a professional who can help you figure out what the fear may be. Once you know what the fear is, then the next step is to find the ways to deal with that fear.

For instance, one of the ways to manage your fear is to challenge your negative thinking with positive statements and realistic thinking. When encountering thoughts that make your fearful or anxious, challenge those thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain objectivity and common sense. For example, your afraid that if you do not get that job promotion then you will be stuck at your job forever. This depresses you, however your thinking in this situation is unrealistic. The fact of the matter is that there all are kinds of jobs available and just because you dont get this job promotion doesnt mean that you will never get one. In addition, people change jobs all the time, and you always have that option of going elsewhere if you are unhappy at your present location. Changing your thinking can help you manage your fears.

Sometimes, we may be nervous doing a certain task that may be scary. When this happens, visualize yourself doing the task in your mind. For instance, you and your team have to play in the championship hockey game in front of a large group of people in the next few days. Before the big day comes, imagine yourself playing the game in your mind. Imagine that your playing in front of a large audience. By playing the game in your mind, you will be better prepared to perform for real when the time comes. Self Visualization is a great way to reduce the fear and stress of a coming situation.

When facing a current or upcoming task that overwhelms you with a lot of anxiety, divide the task into a series of smaller steps and then complete each of the smaller tasks one at a time. Completing these smaller tasks will make the stress more manageable and increases your chances of success.

As a layman, I realize it is not easy to overcome our phobias. Remember that sometimes our worrying and fears can make the problem even worse. Take things in stride and try not focus too much on the problem. In time, you will find the ways to overcome your phobia. If you have trouble, talk to a professional who can give you additional insights on your situation.

posted by msubmn @ 9:21 AM 0 comments